'Bat Shit' Crazy Beliefs Part Three, or the '50 Shades' of Mormon Heaven

Interestingly, Joseph Smith was not the first person during his lifetime to envision this idea of the three kingdoms of glory, or the three kingdoms of 'Heaven'. “Emanuel Swedenborg was a world-renowned inventor and scientist in the 1700s. At age 53, Swedenborg began experiencing visions and dreams. He claimed to have been appointed by God to reform Christianity. (just like Joseph Smith!) For the rest of his life, he published the information he received through his frequent visits to the spirit world. Swedenborg taught there were three degrees of glory in heaven, comparable to the sun, the moon, and the stars, the highest being called the Celestial Kingdom. A library near the Smith home carried the book, Sibly’s Complete Illustration of the Occult Sciences. Historian Michael Quinn has already demonstrated that this book is the likely source for the Smith family’s magic parchments. This book also contains a 20-page summary of Swedenborg’s teachings regarding the “three heavens” and the “spirits and departed souls of men.” (ZelphontheShelf.com) 
           Joseph himself acknowledged his familiarity with Emanuel Swedenborg. In 1839, Edward Hunter, a convert from ‘Swedenborgianism’, recorded a conversation with Joseph, “I asked him if he was acquainted with the Sweadenborgers. His answer I verily believe was, ‘Emanuel Sweadenborg had a view of the world to come but for daily food he perished.’” (William E. Hunter, Edward Hunter: Faithful Steward, pg. 316) I believe this further shows Joseph, and the church his family invented, were very much a product of the zealous, religious times in which they lived. 
          So let's get down the nitty gritty details of the many shades of the Mormons version of Heaven. I’ll now describe the kingdoms of 'Glory' from the lowest to the highest degree of honor. These are the final resting places for the citizens of this Earth, after Christ's 1000 years of peace, of course. Jesus's final judgment will place you into one of these four Heavenly Spheres.

 Outer Darkness is for the biggest losers! Satan, his ‘minions’, his angels, his demons, and the 1/3 of the Spirit children who followed him from the war in Heaven dwell here. It is everlasting brimstone and fire, torment, an eternal Hell. This will be the final stop for all those people who have left the Mormon Church. Apostates, sometimes called ‘sons of perdition’, are those who once had the truth, according to Mormonism, but then rejected it. 
I am an apostate, aka ‘an escaped slave’. In the Mormon scriptures, we are told this about Outer Darkness, and apostates, “They are they who are the sons of perdition, of whom I say that it had been better for them never to have been born; for they are vessels of wrath, doomed to suffer the wrath of God with the devil and his angels in eternity; concerning whom I have said there is no forgiveness in this world or the world to come- Having denied the Holy Spirit after having received it, and having denied the Only Begotten Son of the Father, having crucified him unto themselves and put him to an open shame. These are they who shall go away into the lake of fire and brimstone, with the devil and his angels- And the only ones on whom the second death shall have any power; yea, verily, the only ones who shall not be redeemed in the due time of the Lord, after the sufferings of his wrath.” (Doctrine and Covenants 76:32-38) Yikes! Outer Darkness is a horrible, scary place! There will be no forgiveness for us apostates! In fact, this scripture states it would have been better if we were never born. That is harsh! Apostates from the Mormon Church get sent straight to everlasting Hell to live with Satan forever! More details about this version of Hell still to come.

          Moving on, the Telestial Kingdom is the third and lowest kingdom of Heaven. It is yet another version of Hell in the eyes of many Mormons. You are still a big, fat loser if this is the kingdom you end up in. It is comparable to the glory of the stars. We can read about this kingdom in the Mormon scriptures as well. “These are they who received not the gospel of Christ, neither the testimony of Jesus. These are they who deny not the Holy Spirit. These are they who are thrust down to hell. These are they who shall not be redeemed from the devil until the last resurrection, until the Lord, even Christ the Lamb, shall have finished his work. These are they who received not his fullness in the eternal world….” (Doctrine and Covenants76: 82-86) These are the people who have never accepted Christ. This kingdom is for the liars, cheaters, adulterers, murderers, suicide sufferers, sorcerers, and whoremongers, quite a variety of unrighteous people will dwell in this Kingdom. These Souls rejected their temple work, refused to become Mormons, and did evil deeds while on Earth. They are going to suffer for their own sins for 1000 years in Hell with Satan, but then, they will be resurrected and released, set free into this lowliest kingdom of heaven, which is supposedly more glorious and wonderful than Earth Life as we know it now, so it won't be too bad for a form of damnation, although everyone will be neutered in this kingdom. So, NO MORE SEX FOR YOU!

          I was taught that this is the kingdom where Hitler will eventually live. I am going to use Hitler as an example because he is the universal face of evil to so many people in this world, and he also artfully illustrates this concept of baptism for the dead and repentance in the afterlife that is such a key selling point of Mormonism. Hitler can’t be sent to everlasting Hell with Satan because he was never a Mormon. He never had the fullness of the Gospel while on Earth. But, what if Hitler decided to repent while in Spirit prison? Ironically, Hitler has had his temple work done for him, his parents, and Eva Braun his lover and wife of less than two days, along with other truly awful men throughout history. Mormons want to baptize everyone! 
           Helen Radkey researched Hitler in the Mormon Church’s records. In her article, The Mormon Church Attempts to Conceal Temple Records For Adolf Hitler, Helen says, “There are currently Ancestral File ordinance records that show that Adolf Hitler was “baptized” on September 4, 1993, “endowed” on October 12, 1993, and “sealed” to his parents and also Eva Braun on June 14, 1994 in the Los Angeles Temple… The Mormon Church has attempted to deliberately conceal LDS temple ordinances for Adolf Hitler. This first occurred with the disappearance of many of the IGI records for Hitler and other publicly known evildoers of the Third Reich…Even when confronted by Roberts with IGI temple records for Hitler and Braun, those in charge of the Family History Department at the Family History Library, representing the genealogical arm of the Mormon Church, did not want to take responsibility for these records. Their implausible excuse was that they have no control over the names individuals submit to receive temple ordinances. Like a slippery snake in the grass, the Mormon Church may have tried to dodge public criticism by denying its questionable proxy recognition of Adolf Hitler, the amoral and evil Nazi genius who was responsible for the terror and barbarism of the Third Reich, and the loss of millions of innocent lives before and during World War II. But, LDS ordinance records speak for themselves. Mormons have repeatedly claimed the unpopular Hitler, anything stated to the contrary cannot alter this conclusion.” 
 (http://www.utlm.org/onlineresources/hitlertemplework.htm)

I wonder what Hitler and Eva decided to do, stay in prison, or move to paradise and become Mormons? Let’s assume for a moment that this Mormon belief system is all true, can we really say that we know for certain where anyone will be after the final Day of Judgment with Jesus? Mormons think they absolutely can know, based on these scripture references from the 1800’s that I am quoting. And according to these verses, only ex-Mormon’s get to go to Hell, ‘Outer Darkness’, and live with Satan forever. If Hitler were to accept his temple work, and become a Mormon, then he has all the same privileges as any other Mormon. He can go on to become a God, if he meets all the requirements, just like anyone else. The Telestial kingdom is for people who committed grievous sins, never knew Christ, and rejected the temple work done for them. They will suffer for their own sins in a Hellish state for a while, but eventually even they will be redeemed and resurrected, except without their 'fun' body parts, (only those people in the tippy top, super special, VIP level of heaven get to continue to have sex and reproduce!) Then, they will be sent to the Telestial kingdom to live forever away from God.

Mark Twain said, “Go to Heaven for the climate, to Hell for the company.” There are some Mormons that believe the average apostate, like me, will be sent to the Telestial kingdom instead of Outer Darkness for two reasons. The first reason is gender based. Since only men can hold the priesthood, only men can go to the darkest, everlasting Hell for eternity; and the second reason is some people interpret ‘Sons of Perdition’ to mean only very high level men in authority in the Mormon Church who have actually witnessed Jesus in the flesh, which would be hard to find nowadays. You hardly ever hear of the apostles actually witnessing Jesus in the flesh anymore. Anyway the point is they believe only the men who have been in the highest positions of authority in the church, seen Jesus, and then become apostates, will go to Outer Darkness with Satan. For example, a prophet, an apostle, or those who get their ‘second anointing’ done, and then they leave the church; they would go to everlasting Hell for sure.

A ‘second anointing’ is where the faithful members ‘calling and election’ is made sure meaning they are bequeathed a ‘Golden ticket’ into the highest Kingdom and level of Heaven no matter what sins they commit after receiving it, including murder. The only sin that is unforgivable for them is desertion of the church. A ‘second anointing’ is not spoken of in the church openly. There is a lot of secrecy surrounding this particular temple ordnance. Many Mormons don’t even know this ceremony exists. I didn’t know about it until after I left. A second anointing blessing awards the person receiving it with sealing power to bind and loose, curse and bless, the blessing of the Holy Spirit of Promise from the Holy Ghost, the blessing to live as long as is desirable for them to live, the blessing that they will attain Godhood, and eternal life. It is rare you get a man who has had a second anointing done, and then later on left the church. But, it has happened.

Tom Phillips’s story is how I learned about the second anointing ritual. John Dehlin interviewed Tom in 2012. I found his story fascinating. He told of how this practice was bestowed on him and his wife. As a part of the second anointing ceremony, his wife washed his feet, symbolic of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, and then SHE gave HIM a blessing by laying her hands on his head and stating whatever came into her heart. This shows that women are allowed to use the ‘priesthood’ to give blessings that are recognized by ‘God’, even today. I highly recommend watching his interview or reading his story, if you want to understand this intriguing custom. Here is the link to the Mormon Stories podcast interview. 
http://www.mormonstories.org/tag/tom-phillips/

According to this way of thinking, only these privileged men can go into Outer Darkness because only they get to know the deepest, occult mysteries of God; this, of course, women can’t ever know since we can’t hold the priesthood. Therefore, women can’t be in high positions of authority in the church either. I assume they believe women can’t witness Jesus in the flesh as well. Consequently, some Mormons believe women can’t live with Satan forever. Eternal Hell might be reserved just for high ranking Mormon men. So, there is hope for me. I guess I might not be sent to live with Satan for all of eternity after all, even though the Mormon scriptures say I will. I might get to live with people like Hitler instead, (Yea for me!), if he rejected his temple work that is. Those two places, the Telestial Kingdom and Outer Darkness, are the only possibilities for an apostate after Judgment Day. Apostates will forever be separated from their 'worthy' Mormon family members.

The Terrestrial kingdom is the second highest kingdom of Glory. It is comparable to the moon in its splendor. Your still a loser if you get assigned to this kingdom; you still missed the prize and the point of life. However, this is the nicest kingdom for the flunkies of sainthood to live in forever. This kingdom is for Souls who died without the knowledge of the Mormon version of Christ while they were alive on Earth; but, they were good, caring people. This is how the Mormon scriptures define those who will go into this kingdom, “Behold, these are they who died without law; and also they who are the spirits of men kept in prison whom the Son visited, and preached the gospel unto them, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh; who received not the testimony of Jesus in the flesh, but afterwards received it. These are they who are honorable men of the earth, who were blinded by the craftiness of men. These are they who are not valiant in the testimony of Jesus; wherefore, they obtain not the crown over the kingdom of our God.” (Doctrine and Covenants 76: 72-75, 79) This is the group that was not Mormon while they lived on Earth, but they were good people of all religions or non-religious. They were taught about the Gospel of Jesus Christ while in Spirit prison after they died. Then, these fine people rejected the temple work which was done for them. They are still admirable, caring Souls with no major sins. However, they didn’t accept the fullness of Jesus’ Gospel. Basically, they refused to become Mormons in the afterlife. They will have a better eternity awaiting them then those Souls in the lower kingdom with the whoremongers. Yet, they failed to reach the highest kingdom of heaven, so no more progress, or genitals, for them either.

The Celestial Kingdom is the highest kingdom of God, the one every good Mormon is striving to go to after the Day of Judgment. This is the cream of the crop, comparable to the magnificence of the sun! “These shall dwell in the presence of God and his Christ forever and ever. These are they whom he shall bring with him, when he shall come in the clouds of heaven to reign on the earth over his people. These are they who shall have a part in the first resurrection. These are they who shall come forth in the resurrection of the just. These are they who are come until Mount Zion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly place, the holiest of all. These are they who are just men made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood.” (Doctrine and Covenants 76:62-67, 69) Only Mormons who faithfully ‘endure to the end’ will gain eternal life, and salvation, in this glorious kingdom of the most high! The Celestial Kingdom is the only kingdom where you get to keep your reproductive capabilities and can be married to your spouses. These are the winners of life! They will continue in their progression towards Godhood. However, even if you made it into the super awesome, VIP, kingdom of Heaven, it isn’t necessarily guaranteed that you will become a God, or Priestess. There are still more conditions to be met first.

There are three additional levels within the Celestial Kingdom. 
Level one is for those who have been baptized into the Mormon Church; but, not gone through the temple for their temple work. Level two is for those who have been baptized, and did their temple work; but, they never married in the temple. These two levels in the Celestial kingdom will be servants to the highest level of all. Level three goes to the lucky champions that were baptized, did their temple work, and were married in the temple to boot. These are the only ones who will continue to have intercourse, make spirit babies, populate other worlds with their children, and be worshiped as a King and a Queen. I was taught that if you made it to this climatic level of the Celestial kingdom, you and your spouses would become a God, and Priestesses, over your own worlds. (Mormons rarely use the word Goddess. Mostly they use the word Queens, or Priestesses to describe the women in this kingdom. I believe it is because the word Goddess implies the same authority, power, and rank as the word God. Women will always be lower than men in the Mormon mindset, never an equal partner, even in Heaven!)

Since the Book of Mormon Musical came out on Broadway the church has down played this concept about creating your own worlds. Nonetheless, I was taught this idea at home, in church, and in seminary many times. This quote from Orson Pratt is exactly what I was taught to believe! The Seer was an official periodical, monthly magazine, of the L.D.S church which first appeared in 1853. Its purpose was to defend the L.D.S religion. This is a quote from Orson Pratt, who was an early apostle. He is talking about those who make it to this uppermost level of the Celestial kingdom. “Each God, through his wife, or wives, raises up a numerous family of sons and daughters; indeed, there will be no end to the increase of his own children: for each father and mother will be in a condition to multiply forever and ever. As soon as each God has begotten many millions of male and female spirits, and his Heavenly inheritance becomes too small, to comfortably accommodate his great family, he, in connection with his sons, organizes a new world, after a similar order to the one which we now inhabit, where he sends both the male and female spirits to inhabit tabernacles of flesh and bones. Thus each God forms a world for the accommodation of his own sons and daughters who are sent forth in their times and seasons, and generations to be born into the same. The inhabitants of each world are required to reverence, adore, and worship their own personal father who dwells in the Heaven which they formerly inhabited.” Orson certainly believed he would get to create his own world with his sons for his Spirit children to dwell on and worship him as their God. I too was taught this would be the case for all of those fortunate Souls who make it into the maximum level of heaven, aka the Celestial Kingdom.

This concludes the glorious plan of ‘Happiness’, some bat shit crazy beliefs of the Mormons, or a far-fetched fairy tale, whichever way you choose to view it. As for me, I do believe in fairy tales, and in myths, and in legends too. These stories serve a deeply, meaningful purpose in life; but they are not to be taken factually, or literally. That is the inaccuracy religions have made on purpose. In the lecture, The Great Myth of the SUN-GODS, by Alvin Boyd Kuhn, he says myths enhance spiritual truths. “It was a literary device to embalm lofty wisdom in the amber of a tradition that could be easily remembered, in the guise of a human story. It was truth incarnated in a dramatic occurrence, which was known to be untrue. Outwardly fictitious, but inwardly the substance of might truth, was the myth. And as such it was the universal dress in which ancient knowledge was clothed.” 
       This is the way we need to view these and all other religious stories, as “lofty wisdom… in the guise of a human story."  I also love what Joseph Campbell had to say concerning myths, he said, “The myth basically serves four functions. The first is the mystical function,... realizing what a wonder the universe is, and what a wonder you are, and experiencing awe before this mystery....The second is a cosmological dimension, the dimension with which science is concerned, showing you what shape the universe is, but showing it in such a way that the mystery again comes through.... The third function is the sociological one, supporting and validating a certain social order.... It is the sociological function of myth that has taken over in our world, and it is out of date.... But there is a fourth function of myth, and this is the one that I think everyone must try today to relate to, and that is the pedagogical function, of how to live a human lifetime under any circumstances.” 
That should be the purpose of these religious myths and stories, as educational tools for living Life. They teach us lessons in how to live, and how to not live, in order to be the most productive and purposeful in living life to the fullest. 

*(In the wake of my father's death I am writing some much needed posts for healing my pain concerning my father's wishes/will. These posts are about my parents, their deaths, and my relationship with them throughout my life. It will be several weeks before I get to the post regarding polygamy. Look for it at the end of March or first of April 2017.)
           Next week, I will tackle the subject of polygamy. It was the straw that broke the camels back for me. It is the smelly, disgusting elephant in the room of Mormonism that no one wants to acknowledge. I will be shinning a big bright spot light on the monstrous shit it has produced!

Namaste!

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