Eight Is ENOUGH!

A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart until the day you die ~ Mary Mason

Alex and Stacey’s wedding was in June of 2011, 5 months after my dark night of the soul and crisis of faith. I definitely didn’t want to get pregnant before their wedding. We were very careful when it came to that possibility. I had worked hard to get my body back in shape after having Emmalee. I was running races and teaching Jazzercise. Even though, I was told not to do those activities after my back surgery. I was back down to 130 lbs and fit. I loved this body of mine. Having a baby was not on my ‘to do’ list anymore. I had made peace with the fact that I was not going to have eight kids. I was joyful about the seven wonderful, beautiful, amazing children we had already created. Life was good. I was happier than I had ever been. We had a fun summer planned. Our marriage wasn’t perfect at this time, but when is marriage ever perfect? We were still working on navigating this new way of life with me not being a part of the Mormon Church. We hadn’t solved our money issues or religious ones; but, we were motivated on finding a way through them. We were committed to each other. We did more things as a couple and as a family. 

We put together a team and ran the Wasatch Back Ragnar Relay Race two weeks after their wedding. It is a 200 mile race with twelve runners in two vans. Each runner runs three times. We take turns running all day, all night, and all the next day to get from Logan to Park City, Utah. It was awesome! This was the second time we had run in that race. We saw several concerts that summer. Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw are two concerts I will never forget! We went on a fun family vacation in July to the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas. It had been six years since our last big family excursion. 


August came, that’s when we went to see Tim McGraw. I had won two tickets to a pre-show with Tim. It was fantastic! We were in a small crowded tent. Tim came in and played several songs. We got free beers. Donny Osmond was in the audience near us too. He even got up on stage with Tim for a moment. It was a great start to the evening. After that show was over, we found a place to lay out our blanket on the grass. USANA is an outdoor venue and has lawn seating or regular seating by the stage. We always get tickets for the lawn. While we were waiting for the main show to start, an official from the venue walked up to us. He offered us free tickets to sit in the seats. I was delighted! The lawn isn’t the best for my back. We got to watch Tim’s concert from a perfect spot. It had been a really entertaining date. I had had a few beers that night, which wasn’t unusual for me at a concert in my post-Mormon world. Drinking was something we had tried before we went to the temple in our early married years. But, we never ‘drank’ while we were temple attending, active Mormons. Since I had left the church however, drinking coffee, tea, and alcohol on occasion was normal for me. The next day, I was awfully sick. At first I thought, “This must be what a hangover feels like.” I had never experienced that before, as the day went on though, it felt more like a familiar kind of sickness, and it didn’t go away. That was the first moment I suspected I might be pregnant. We had been cautious. I couldn’t imagine when this might have happened. Still, there was no denying I felt sick, the pregnant kind. I had to know. I took a pregnancy test at 4:30 pm that afternoon. Positive! I don’t think I have ever been so surprised to see two tiny pink lines in my life! I knew in my heart it was right. I was pregnant. Like it or not, baby number eight was indisputably coming!

          I love this truth, “There are two kinds of people on the earth, mothers and their children.” (Z Budapest) I am truly blessed because I am both. I was born knowing I would be a mother to many children. I was clear about that from the very beginning, but I did not expect it to take twenty two years for all my children to arrive. I gave birth to my first child at age twenty one, and I would be forty three when my last baby was born. Being pregnant in your 40’s sucks! I don’t advocate it. I was sicker than I had ever been during a pregnancy. I gained more weight; and now, I was in a high risk category just because of my birthday. I did have a genetic test done in September to know if this baby had Down syndrome as well. When we learned that it was a boy, and he was ‘normal’, I was very relieved. Yet, I was still a bit concerned for him because I had had a few drinks a couple of times in July, and in Aug, before I knew I was pregnant. When I went to the doctor for the first time, he wasn’t too troubled about that information. I decided not to worry about it either. He did an ultrasound to get the best due date. It turned out our baby was farther along than we thought. We actually got pregnant on day five of my cycle right after the Kenny Chesney concert on July 9^th. A time when I thought it was 'safe' not to use protection. It was the only time we didn’t use precautions that month. I should have known better, having a degree in Human development! Truly, there is no ‘safe time’ if you don’t want to chance getting pregnant. Fortunately for us, he snuck in there and stuck! Our baby was due the first part of April. But because of my age, my doctor wanted to schedule him in March. I didn’t want another March baby! Both of our daughters birthdays are in March. I didn’t want to be induced either. I preferred to go into labor on my own. My last two babies had been scheduled as well. However, my doctor didn’t think it was safe for the baby to wait until April. He was showing some signs of stress towards the end of the pregnancy. So, we scheduled his birth for the very end of the month of March.

         

Baby number eight, another boy, was born in March 2012 into a large family in a crowded room. We let any family members that wanted to be at the birth come see him be born. Randy Jaxon has dark brown hair, eyes as black as coffee, and olive skin like his dad, and he was named after his father too. Since we now had two Randy’s in the family, we decided to call him RJ. He was born in the evening with my sister, my mother in law, Randy, and six of our kids either in the room, or hurrying on their way to see us. Our kids gathered around the nurse watching her care for their new brother. They asked her lots of questions about him as she cleaned him up. We all noticed that he has one toe with a miniature, crooked toe nail. It grows sideways and covers less than half his tiny toe. The kids tease me that I must have had a drink when he was growing that teeny tiny toenail. That’s why it is so crooked and so curious. I love that sweet toe. I kiss it whenever I put on his shoes. It reminds me of the perfection in imperfection!

It was a very different birth than our other babies. It had always been just Randy and I with our new little one at first. But, this felt right to have everyone present. It was a nice ending to giving birth. This was it! I had my tubes tied six weeks after RJ’s delivery. I definitely didn’t want another one to sneak in there! After having eight babies, and three miscarriages, I knew for certain that I was done giving birth!  I can’t tell you how grateful I felt in that moment of bringing him into this world, to know all of my children were here with me was priceless! My agreement to bring them into this world was fulfilled. I didn’t think I would have my eighth baby since I had a child with special needs, and our marriage was struggling. We were not trying to conceive. We were trying to prevent it. Yet, Life found a way, of which I am very thankful. Randy Jaxon is a precious, essential part of our family. We all love him dearly. He is the perfect ending to our perfectly large family unit.

Even though I am very grateful to be Emma’s mother, and most of our days are filled with sweet joy, amazing progress, and lots of love it has not always been an easy road. We also have days where there are tears of frustration, apprehension for her future, and stress about potential medical situations. It takes Emma twice as long to learn something as a normal child her age, but the good news is, she can learn!! She is just on her own schedule, and I am okay with that. She teaches me patience; and, to live in the present moment. For her, there is no past or future. Yesterday and tomorrow are not in her grasp. She lives only in the ‘Now’. What a tremendous gift!! She is my teacher for so many things. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to be her mother. There is no doubt in my mind that Emma and RJ are both Earth Angels who were fated to be in our family.

Actually, it is more like raising twins at the present moment. Emmalee is developmentally about half her biological age. That makes her and RJ progressing at the same rate for the moment, and RJ has been a big help to Emmalee. Emma will see RJ doing something she can’t do, and it makes her even more determined to try to do it as well. They have a normal sibling relationship. Most of the time they are very loving and adorable with each other, but in the blink of an eye, that can all change. It is quite an adventure raising these ‘Rainbow kids’ together in my mid-life. When I toilet trained both of them, Emmalee was seven and RJ was three years old. It was a challenge and took several months to completely accomplish, but I can finally say we are a diaper free family! I had a child in diapers for nine and a half years straight without a break! I am tremendously happy to finally be through with diapers!!  

I am very grateful for all of my blessed children. From my earliest memories, I knew I would have a big family. I cherish every moment I have with them as I watch them all mature. My joy and my love for them are expanding as they grow into amazing, beautiful adults. I love them each profoundly. I try to tell them that often. I hope that they know it. There is no greater calling that I could have had in my life than to be my children’s mother. They are my pride and my joy! I have fulfilled my mission to bring these beautiful Souls into the world. Raising this wonderful brood is my full time job, a job I love and enjoy dearly. 

Richelle E. Goodrich said, “You were formed inside a borrowed womb, a nourishing safe haven for months, and then delivered through painful effort and sacrifice by a woman willing to give you the precious gift of life. That truth alone deserves your gratitude and respect.” I gladly gave my body to grow my children, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for each and every one of them. I will love them forever. They can’t ever lose my love. However, even though I am their mother, I recognize that my children are not ‘mine’. I don’t own them. They are sovereign beings. It is my responsibility to give them the best care and beginning that I can. But, they are free to discover their own desires for their life, their own passions, to find the spiritual path that calls to their heart, and is right for them. I am honored to be the vessel that brought them here to this Earth to discover all they intended to experience from Life. All I wish for them is their happiness, and only they can determine what that looks like. I have no expectations for them. They are free to be. And, I will always be here for them in any way they need ‘til my last breath is taken.

Namaste!

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